We'd like to believe that the best way to split up with a individual is to take a seat with them face-to-face and have a genuine, open discussion about the reason why you feel the relationship should no longer continue. After a calm, mature discussion, you will both arrived at the amicable conclusion the relationship isn't employed by either of you. You'll share a friendly hug, and split up saying, \”I'm so glad we're still friends.\”
Can someone let me know on which planet this actually happens? Let me visit. It sounds tranquil and civilized.
Every relationship That i have ever been in, with maybe a few exceptions, is finished with a cataclysmic scene. Even the ones where we decided to these amicable break-up scenario ahead of time didn't end this way. There is always crying, shouting, and throwing things. Histrionics of epic proportions, if you will.
Having been dumped by every means possible, I've come to the conclusion that face-to-face is the worst method to end a relationship.
Maybe I'm not mature enough. Most likely the guys I've dated aren't mature enough. Maybe there was a significant amount of passion for things to just fizzle out and permit us to split up like rational adults – love enables you to do crazy things. I've yet to really go through the \”it was mutual\” outcome. I do not even accept is as true exists. Generally, one person has one foot out the door before the other even includes a clue but regardless of whether the thing is it coming or otherwise, this face-to-face plan has some serious potential pitfalls.
The phone is your best bet and here's why.
I don't want to see you. You're about to break me inside a million tiny pieces, betray my trust, and basically tell me something I don't want to hear. I'd rather not call at your face because at that time I'm going to hate it. It's much easier to go ahead and take news if we remove all of the non-verbal communication because your body language and delivery are very important to my response and, more than likely, you are going to screw it up. If you are awkward and fumbling your words, you're just going to make me feel uncomfortable. And find out, you dumping me is already uncomfortable. Let's not make it any worse. If you're coming off being an inconsiderate ass, I'll probably be much more hurt and begin wondering why I cared about you to begin with. Just FYI, once that moment where I doubt my decision-making abilities passes, I'll probably want to punch you in the face. The conclusion, pick up the telephone.
I also do not want YOU to see ME. If I'm madly in love with you and also you're completely blindsiding me, this is likely to be chaos regardless. Having one of these discussion over the phone allows me to preserve some semblance of my dignity. I can simply say, \”ok, well- I wish all of you the very best,\” hang up the phone, throw up, and dissolve into a puddle of tears on the ground. And I'm not talking your standard everyday crying. I'm talking about the mouth-wide-open/eyes-squeezed-shut/hyperventilating/convulsing/drooling-all-over-yourself kind of sobbing that inevitably accompanies a break up you won't ever saw coming. No one must observe that! I'm about to lock myself in my room for days and merely lay there within the fetal position near comatose on the floor. Hey, it takes place! However i certainly don't need you to know anything about this because then the way I maintain my carefully crafted everything-is-great-since-we-broke-up status updates and Facebook photo charade?
Location, location, location. The problem is that there's not good spot to get dumped. Wherever you do it will forever be tainted with this unrealistically mature conversation we're going to have. There are numerous locations I still can't go back to, even years later, since they are the \”scene from the crime,\” as they say. So where is the next step it? Do you invite me to your place and dump me there? How does that work? Do you provide the message calmly after which ask me to depart? Because it's not as simple as escorting me towards the door. It might require a police escort. Would you come over to my place and dump me by myself turf in order to think, \”oh this is the spot where he looked me within the eye and ripped me out of my chest\” every time I sit on my couch? That's just rude. If you go for someplace neutral just like a public park or bar, now I've got a crowd watching me break apart. Just public humiliation.
Lie in my experience. That whole \”honest\” area of the \”honest face-to-face conversation\” you're planning to skillfully execute when you split up beside me is a couple of crap too. Do me a favor, lie. I'd rather not know the real reasons you don't want to date me. No one wants to understand that. I mislead people on a daily basis. I even mislead myself. Why? Since it makes everyone feel good. It's bad enough you're dumping me. Now you are going to add insult to injury when you are completely honest? No, thanks.
See if you dump me over the telephone, not just is there less chance of hysterics, violence, and a potentially awkward exit, you don't have to look me within the eye while you give me a plausible but vague excuse why you cannot date me anymore and due to modern technology and mobile phone portability, I recieve to select where I get dumped. This might not appear to be the optimal method for ending rapport, but trust me, it's rather a fairly considerate thing to do. Plus my family room and that bar using the amazing margaritas will still be my sanctuaries and I'll definitely require a place that will not remind me individuals. Particularly when I start to see other people.