Life After Dating: 20 Not-So-Nice \”Firsts\” Of A Long-Term Relationship

A few weeks after Nick and that i started dating, he got his wisdom teeth out (alas, oral surgical treatment is another pitfall of the high school sweetheart relationship). I was secretly really excited about the thought of looking after my new boyfriend as he recovered, and so i placed on my cutest \”casual caretaker\” outfit and headed over to his house to invest your day nursing him to health. After i got there, Nick was lying around the couch moaning hurting. The painkillers had upset his stomach and, not able to chew solid food, he'd been sipping canned chocolate protein shakes all day long. It was pretty clear he was miserable there was nothing I could do. I sat alongside him and stroked his hair, wishing I possibly could do more to create him feel good. And then, very suddenly, he clutched his stomach, whispered, \”Oh noooo,\” and projectile-vomited chocolate Slim Fast throughout me.

As I had been cleaning myself up, Used to do the math. This was technically our third date.

We joke since reaching the \”vomiting on each other\” milestone so at the start of our relationship may have fast-forwarded our level of intimacy and helped us stay together for going on 10 years now. Since the painful, beautiful truth of being inside a serious relationship is letting another person see you exactly as you are, bodily processes and weird insecurities and crappy moods and all. When people talk about relationship \”firsts,\” they're usually referring to sweet such things as first kisses, first \”I love you\”'s, and first dances. I think you're ready to provide a shoutout towards the not-so-pleasant firsts, the ones that, in their own individual way, might actually be more meaningful.

Here are a few examples, culled from my own experiences and red-faced confessions from friends in LTRs-

1. The first fart.

2. The first time you period stain his sheets.

3. The very first time he sees you talk to your mother like you're 13.

4. The very first time you see him speak with his mother like he's 3.

5. The first time you disclose a rape or other major life trauma.

6. The first time he sees you've got a creative breakdown in which you cry and say you have no talent and that you will end up a homeless bag lady.

7. The first time you witness his borderline-scary road rage.

8. The very first time certainly one of you throws in the sink after a nights heavy boozing.

9. The first time he walks in on you while you're putting on your shapewear.

10. The very first time he sees you lose your shit on the guy in the Verizon store who claims you're not actually due to have an upgrade.

11. The first time you reveal a mental illness (or it reveals itself).

12. The first \”not sure if we are able to recover from this\” blowout fight.

13. The first time you receive a hotel room together and he throws all of his stuff on the ground and jumps around the bed for sex and also you simply tell him you need to unpack first.

14. The first time he sees you so sick you can't move and has to hold you to and from the bathroom so you can have diarrhea.

15. The very first time he sees your unflushed tampon relaxing in the bathroom . bowl. Whoops.

16. The very first time you smell each other's morning breath.

17. The first time he buys a personal gift that you really can't stand.

18. The very first time you aren't in the mood to have sex – either because you have gas or cramps or had a bad day – and he takes it personally.

19. The first time you are in a panic situation and realize neither individuals usually stays calm.

20. The very first time he discovers you have greater than a thousand pairs of underwear – many of them with holes.

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